Playground

For all those nights, when we thought this was all we had,

All those dreams that we thought would never come true,

they are floating around us like cotton candy clouds,

Brushing against our skin, letting us know that they are very near,

ready to take the weight of our bodies,

and fly away with us perched upon them,

Taking to the skies,

with no chains holding us back,

our fingers interlocked,

with no sign of failure,

this place is our playground now,

so let's play,

lets run around til we fall down,

let breathe every breath with such love,

that we never want it to end.

Rocking your world Friday (Shhh, I know it is Tuesday!!!)

Hi all!!

I am sorry I missed the Friday post, I couldn't get to the internet! (How come every time I try to write internet, I write "Interent"?!)

I have a lot to ramble on about, so here goes! I am absolutely loving being back here, after my breakdown last week, I am feeling so positive. I have realised the only person that can fix me, is me! I feel full of confidence and drive.... now I just have to put it to good use!

I have just started up my own freelance make-up business, it is only in the process, but I am feeling confident so far! I set up a page on FaceBook and all my lovely friends and family are being so supportive! I always put myself down and think I am not good enough to be a freelance artist, but you know what? I am! I trained for months and put everything I had in to that course, I passed my exams with flying colours and I have a passion for it... which is the most important thing! I will post the link below.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/CandyFlash-Make-Up/164408300284020

I am really grateful for my friends and family over here in England. I am going to do a little list of individual gratefuls!

John: For making me feel so at home, and for wanting to spend every minute with me! I thought he would be sick of me by now!! hehe! He is so sweet, and always keeps his promises and most importantly, he always makes me smile! I love the way he has total faith in me, even when I have none at all. I love how passionate he is, and he makes me jealous with his talent for.. well... everything!!! I am so lucky to have him in my life.

Red: For being so welcoming and for making my room all pretty for when I arrived!! She had put up a big mirror for me to do my make-up and she had left loads of teddies for me (She knows I miss all my furry buddies!! hehe!). I am grateful for her being a bit of a taxi woman too! She is an absolute gem and she has a heart of gold. I love having a good giggle with her and we never seem short of them!

Auntie Liz: For always checking up on me, I love her little texts and phone calls asking am I ok!! I really enjoy our cups of tea together. It kinda feels a bit like home away from home with her around! Here she is, being wacky as always!

Virginia: Well, you all know this lady!! I am so grateful to know Virginia, she has been nothing but sweet to me ever since John and I started dating. She has gone out of her way to make me feel like part of the family from day one, I remember the first time I contacted her, I was kind of nervous, but as soon as she wrote back, I knew we would get along wonderfully! I think she is so talented, her Scrapbooks blow my mind, and her love of life is inspiring.

Mel: I love how sweet Mel is, she is an absolute star, I just wish she would believe it! Same as Virginia, she has welcomed me to the family without a second thought. She has let me sleep on her couch and she has driven around town trying to find me a battered sausage and ungodly hours! I love how we can chat about make-up (Both MAC lovers!) I am so glad to know her.

Val: Well, Val has made me feel like part of the family too! I remember the first time I met her, all she kept saying was "Isn't she tall?!?!" "Isn't she beautiful?!?!" She is always great for a laugh, and I am really looking forward to getting to know her better! She makes a mean cuppa and always has biscuits or chocolate waiting for me! WIN!

My family in Ireland: I miss them tonnes, but at the same time, we really make each conversation worth while, we talk and catch up, and it is lovely to know what they are up to and how they are doing! I am so grateful that mum and dad have been so supportive, couldn't have done it without them! I love my brothers too, I can't wait to see them all again!!!  Oooohh and I really miss my doggies, I found some adorable pictures earlier, I will post them below!!

I am so excited for everything! I feel like life is beginning now. As I don't have a job at the moment, I am loving playing the housewife... hehe! Yeah, I love sticking on some music, cooking and cleaning!!

Anyway, I will jump off now, I hope you all have a lovely week!!!

....

I know I keep missing out on my Rocking your world Fridays at the moment, I am back and forth and never get a chance to post here at the moment with trying to sort out everything like banks, jobs, doctors etc. I just thought I would come on here and vent for a bit, feeling a little bit stressed at the moment!

I am having one of those days where I feel like I am not in my body, I feel like I can't speak or interact properly, like every time I speak, no matter who is listening, I just can't pluck up the confidence to have a proper conversation. I hate these days.

It is strange how from day to day, things can be so up and down. I know tomorrow will be a new and better day, but today, I feel pretty helpless and low and what is even more annoying is that I can't put my finger on why I feel this way (Probably because I am a nutcase woman! lol!). It is strange how when you wake up in the mornings, you don't know where the day is going to lead you, something incredible could turn up on your doorstep, or you could end up feeling pretty useless and lost.

I have so many dreams, but I can't seem to pick myself up and gather the courage to go about them. I need to learn how to believe in myself, because right now, I feel like I could just curl up in a ball. I never speak about it, hence why I find it much easier to come on here and type (This leads me back to the original point of not being able to pluck up the confidence to have a proper conversation!) I just tell myself it is all OK, that I don't need to talk to anyone and that I am probably just being stupid, but you know, that mentality certainly creeps up and bites you in the ass.

I really envy people who have natural confidence, It is almost debilitating in social situations, I am scared of saying anything just in case I look stupid, because I feel like everything I say is of no value or interest. I know this is ridiculous, because I have people around me who care and who I talk to all the time, but when I feel this way, it is hard to ignore it!

It may be the change that has knocked me, even though I don't feel that is the source of the problem, like I said, I am never sure what it is. If I was to take a wild guess, I would say it is the lack of faith I have in myself sometimes. The fact I never think I am good enough for anything.

Urrghh! even reading that back makes me feel stupid! lol! I just needed to vent and think to myself for a few minutes, sorry if that read was a bit heavy! I will pop back on Friday hopefully with a list full of happies!!

I'm back!!

I have been missing for quite a while, moving country and all that! I am just getting settled now.

I was meant to move on the 31st March, dad walked in to my room on the morning of the 30th and told me I had to change my plans, me in my sleepy state replied with a grumpy "erm... what?".... The ferry that we were supposed to be sailing over on was cancelled due to strong winds and storms at sea. My heart sank.

We spent the next hour or so deciding what to do, since the forecast for the next two weeks were very much the same. So we decided to pack up and travel across that evening, it was a mental, hectic day. We set off for Dublin at 4 in the afternoon, got there about 6:30 ish, boarded the ferry at 8, we arrived in Holyhead at about midnight, then drove to Rotherham. We arrived at John's house at 4:30 in the morning, bless him he woke up to let me and dad in!!

So, here I am. I am so happy! I feel so settled and like life is really looking up!! I am absolutely loving being able to see John all the time, and getting to see red more than twice a year is amazing! I am job hunting at the moment, which is a pain, but it has to be done! I saw a job for a Make-up artist for Benefit, I have applied, so fingers crossed!

I haven't caught up with my Rocking your world Fridays, I will get back on it soon! That is all for now...

x

Rocking your world Friday (well, Saturday.... Shhh!)

Hi everyone!!

I have been missing lately, I know I am a day late, but here goes!

I was over in England for a week, I had such a great time! Went out in Sheffield for Paddy's day, best night ever!! Me and John spent the week chilling, sorting the house and watching movies!! There is a little cat called Gizmo that comes around to the house, such a little sweetheart! Here is a picture of me and John on Paddy's day!

Red, the legend, picked us up and we went out to Wentworth garden centre on Tuesday, it was a beautiful sunny day. I had such a lovely time walking around all the gardens and the craftshop! Here is a picture of me and Red! 

I am going for a lovely meal with my family tonight, a leaving do if you like! Bella Roma, a gorgeous Italian restaurant in Galway! I can't wait! I am going to have penne pasta with pan fried salmon in white wine and Garlic sauce!! Nom!

I am so glad my exams went well, I only have one left now and I am feeling confident!

I am grateful for all the food John brought home from the leavers do he was at, we had so many sandwiches, kept us going for a few days. Ginnie, those muffins you sent were amazing!!!

Just a little list for today, I am all over the place!!! 

I hope you all have a lovely weekend/week!! x x x x x x x x x 

        

Somewhere called home..

I always seemed so far away from home,
With the water dripping off my fingertips,
Nothing seemed near, everything took so long,
But I remember seeing you on the horizon,
Flowers and somewhere to belong,
With your arms open wide,
You seemed in arms length, but I couldn't touch you,
All those dreams of your hand in mine,
Don't seem so unrealistic now....

Now that you are here....
Now that the horizon seems so near...
I will never let this go,
No matter how hard that rain falls down, or how deep I sink,
These fireworks just never stop going off,
The sky is a constant array of light,
Just because I know you are here....

I feel like a boat in your ocean,
without any maps,
Completely lost in content,
You will always be who you are to me...
and you will always know who I am...

You always told me that the world would right itself,
and everything has fallen in to place,
That life would work out,
If you could just see my face...

Stay with me,
Just stay with me,
I never thought I could be this way...

Rocking Your World Friday!!

Hi everyone!!! Friday again, here is my liccle list of gratefuls!!

I am so grateful to be safe, after hearing about the disaster in Japan, it makes you feel so grateful to be safe and sound. It is horrendous to think what the people must be going through there. I think we should all take a minute to think about them and think about how lucky we are to have our homes and our families. The world can be a cruel place sometimes, so we should all count our blessings!!!

I am really grateful for my brother Sean leaving his Friends box set behind, it has kept me busy for the last few weeks!! hehhe! I have watched so much of it now, I feel like I know all the cast personally!!

I love the fact that dad went a bought me my hair dye today, he managed to get me the right one as well! He is a big girl really!! Lol!

I am NOT loving this weather, it has been raining not stop today and the poor doggies have been stuck inside all day! Though I have kept smiling, the sun better come out soon!!

I am grateful to have John, I know I always say it, but I am grateful everyday!! He always gives me giggles and makes me smile. I get to see him next week!! Yayyyy!!! So looking forward to it! I am so happy I am moving over soon, this long run is over soon and I get to see him all the time!!!

I am so lucky to have everything I own! I never say I am grateful for it, but I don't know what I would do without my Make-up, my bed, my clothes!!

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend/ week!!!

x x x x x